Hello, [ReaderName].
It’s been about a month since I did one of these “NEWS” posts, so let me inform you of what we’ve been up to recently.
Update 1:
Last month we sponsored a game called Color Cleaner, it did very well, thank you for playing it.
I believe it’s had over 1 million plays. Hoorah!
It’s our best investment yet.
Update 2:
Overcome with joy and excitement, I shit myself.
Update 3:
A week ago we released another sponsored game, Laser Ruse. We put it on Newgrounds 2 days ago and on Kongregate yesterday.
It’s not been doing quite as well as we hoped, so we’d be very grateful if you would go to Newgrounds and Kongregate and vote highly on it.
NG: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/568278
Kong: http://www.kongregate.com/games/IbeTom/laser-ruse
We originally bought the sponsorship for this game, expecting to get it released within a week, but it turned out the coder had fled and wasn’t up for doing the work we required, so in the end I was given the source files and I worked on it for several days, making changes and improving it.
It suddenly occurred to me that this is the first game this year we have released that I have done development work on.
Incredible.
Update 4:
Wasted Youth is almost ready. The translations are finished, now it’s just a matter of adjusting the game so that the translations are displaying correctly.
I’ve always wanted to know how the following sentence would sound in a foreign tongue:
“I’ll screw you until I begin belching, Then indulge you in some felching”
Russian: 'Сперму высосу всю из анала, С наслажденьем соски теребя.'
German: 'Ich will sehen wie du mit mir fickst, Bist du schreist, dass du wirklich mich liebst'
French: 'Je vais sucer tout le foutre du cul, Tarabuster les nichons avec un grand plaisir'
Spanish: 'Luego voy a satisfacerte follándote por los pechos, Qué satisfacción tendré chupando tus pechos'
Also, I was amused to see that the translators had translated all of the characters’ names literally.
For example:
Mr Bastard in German is referred to as Mr Arschloch (translated literally to mean Mr Arsehole).
However, it’s the Spanish translation that got the most laughs.
Mr Bastard in Spanish is referred to as Sr. Hijo puta… Mr Teen-Slut.
The school-nurse, Miss Cummings, gets the best treatment though. In Spanish she is referred to as Madame Ejaculation.
Lovely.
Update 5:
I did a drawing just for you.
Enjoy.
Mmmmm, weird.
Please remember to rate highly on Laser Ruse. It deserves it.
Good night.